Donkeys…
Dear Future Girlfriend: You have a sex move called “Donkey Kong”. After we throw a bunch of barrels at some plumber, we totally get it on.
A new title…
Dear Future Girlfriend: You don’t want to be called my “girlfriend”, you prefer “lady partner in mayhem”.
What a day…
Dear Future Girlfriend: You make it a point to make time for some nudie action on any days that end in “Y”.
When I start a new band…
Dear Future Girlfriend: You’ll support me when I form a 32 person all cowbell cover band that only plays tunes by the band “Europe” called “The Final Cowbell”.
Friday nights…
Dear Future Girlfriend: While most people will be out tonight, we’ll be staying in working on our perpetual motion machine. We’re going to make millions!
#5…
Dear Future Girlfriends: When we high five, people in our immediate area inspired to give high fives.
Sunshine…
Dear Future Girlfriend: You’ll be my sunshine on rainy days. They only downside will be that I won’t be able to make direct eye contact with you.
Go Joe!
Dear Future Girlfriend: If we get married and have kids: First born: Duke. Second born: Cobra Commander. They will be bitter rivals.
